[blog mawar merah]
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Can You Make Someone Fall in Love With You?
This question might seem to have a simple yes or no answer. But in fact, it is a pretty deep question. We'll just scratch the surface of it here. The short answer is -- both yes and no.
How is it "no"? Well, everyone will tell you that you can't make someone love you -- it comes from inside. And that's true most of the time. There are a few hypnosis experts who can convince someone to feel as if they're in love, but I don't call that real love.
But what about the "yes" answer? Ah, this is where it gets interesting! You can do things that make it far more likely for someone to fall in love with you. I'm not talking about the stuff you can read in some ebooks for sale -- about saying certain words and acting all puffed up or else playing hard to get, all to manipulate someone to get in bed with you. I hope you'll agree that's not real love either.
What I'm talking about is being your best self. If you could remove your self-consciousness, nervousness, etc., and if you could start living life confidently and go for your dreams, how would you appear to someone else? Think of people you have seen living like that -- how do they come across to you? Like someone you'd like to be around, right? We all like to be around that type of person, don't we?
That is exactly the point. The best way to attract the lover of your dreams is to be the kind of person they would naturally be attracted to! And I don't mean putting on an act, trying to be whoever they want you to be. Not at all! To attract the friends and lovers of your dreams, all you need to do -- and it's absolutely honest -- is to become the "yourself" of your dreams! Become the person you always wished you were. You can do it little by little or all at once -- that doesn't matter. Well, okay, slower might take longer. So go faster if you're in a hurry.
One caveat -- be sure you're being realistic. Don't try to be something you have no ability to be. Be yourself, doing and learning what you can do and learn. If you always wanted to do extreme sports and you have the ability, then go for it. If you want to be in a band or start a band and you have musical talent, then do that. Do it in a smart way, of course. Make sure you don't have money problems. And if you dream of traveling around the world, then save up or work your way from country to country. Or maybe stay home and start your business or write your book or work for the Sierra Club. It's your dream!
Whatever you choose, after a while you'll probably find yourself so poised and sure of yourself, and so fulfilled with your life, that people will naturally be attracted to you. Many of them will be the sort of people you could like, and one or more of them will be potential lovers. And it all happens while you're being true to yourself, perhaps more so than you've ever done before.
Can you make one particular person fall in love with you? Well, if you haven't started living your dreams yet, it just might happen after you start. He or she might begin to see you as even more amazing than before, and that might tip the balance for that person. But then again, someone else might get interested in you and come after you first! Then what will you do? It's up to you how far you go and what you do with your opportunities.
--
By: Forest A. Roesmith↑
From: ezinearticles.com↑
How is it "no"? Well, everyone will tell you that you can't make someone love you -- it comes from inside. And that's true most of the time. There are a few hypnosis experts who can convince someone to feel as if they're in love, but I don't call that real love.
But what about the "yes" answer? Ah, this is where it gets interesting! You can do things that make it far more likely for someone to fall in love with you. I'm not talking about the stuff you can read in some ebooks for sale -- about saying certain words and acting all puffed up or else playing hard to get, all to manipulate someone to get in bed with you. I hope you'll agree that's not real love either.
What I'm talking about is being your best self. If you could remove your self-consciousness, nervousness, etc., and if you could start living life confidently and go for your dreams, how would you appear to someone else? Think of people you have seen living like that -- how do they come across to you? Like someone you'd like to be around, right? We all like to be around that type of person, don't we?
That is exactly the point. The best way to attract the lover of your dreams is to be the kind of person they would naturally be attracted to! And I don't mean putting on an act, trying to be whoever they want you to be. Not at all! To attract the friends and lovers of your dreams, all you need to do -- and it's absolutely honest -- is to become the "yourself" of your dreams! Become the person you always wished you were. You can do it little by little or all at once -- that doesn't matter. Well, okay, slower might take longer. So go faster if you're in a hurry.
One caveat -- be sure you're being realistic. Don't try to be something you have no ability to be. Be yourself, doing and learning what you can do and learn. If you always wanted to do extreme sports and you have the ability, then go for it. If you want to be in a band or start a band and you have musical talent, then do that. Do it in a smart way, of course. Make sure you don't have money problems. And if you dream of traveling around the world, then save up or work your way from country to country. Or maybe stay home and start your business or write your book or work for the Sierra Club. It's your dream!
Whatever you choose, after a while you'll probably find yourself so poised and sure of yourself, and so fulfilled with your life, that people will naturally be attracted to you. Many of them will be the sort of people you could like, and one or more of them will be potential lovers. And it all happens while you're being true to yourself, perhaps more so than you've ever done before.
Can you make one particular person fall in love with you? Well, if you haven't started living your dreams yet, it just might happen after you start. He or she might begin to see you as even more amazing than before, and that might tip the balance for that person. But then again, someone else might get interested in you and come after you first! Then what will you do? It's up to you how far you go and what you do with your opportunities.
--
By: Forest A. Roesmith↑
From: ezinearticles.com↑
Labels: Article
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Romantic Jealousy is Scary!
Jealously. . . it feeds on your insecurity, devours your self-confidence, and gobbles up the trust in your relationship.
Jealousy has been defined as an emotion experienced by one who perceives that another person is giving something that she or he wants (typically attention, love, or affection) to a third party.
Jealousy is an emotion resulting from the resentfully suspicious nature of man. It is a universal emotional trauma caused by things as well as people. Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat - real or imagined - to a valued relationship or to its quality. Jealousy has a mind of its own and it is strong enough to make us believe and see things that are not even there or that have not happened yet.
Jealousy is a "complex reaction" because it involves such a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviors.
Believe it or not, like other difficult emotional experiences, jealousy can be a trigger for growth, increased self-awareness, and greater understanding of both your partner and your relationship.
While some couples seem to feed off of inciting a playful type of jealousy, many other relationships are laid to waste by uncontrollable and irrational fits of jealous rage.
In small, manageable doses, jealousy can be a positive force in a relationship. Jealousy heightens emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate. But when jealousy is intense or irrational, the story is very different.
Jealousy is almost always a demonstration of our own insecurities and low self-esteem. Unless an unfaithful partner has broken trust, about 90% of jealousy comes from from personal insecurity. When you are feeling unloved, be careful not to focus on your partner when the feelings are really inside you. Jealousy provides an opportunity to come to a fundamental understanding of yourself. You may be being driven by your fears.
Insecurities bring forth jealousy, which, in effect, is a cry for more love. It is within our rights to ask for more affection when self-doubts surface, however, the indirect way that jealousy asks for it is counterproductive. Excessive possessiveness is inappropriate. Jealousy is the surest way to drive away the very person we may fear losing.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to try and hide it. Jealousy is usually a signal of something needing fixing, and ignoring that usually only makes things worse.
To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:
Acknowledge your jealousy. Ask yourself where it is coming from and why it makes you feel jealous. I suggest asking yourself, "What do I feel insecure about? Do I feel unattractive or uninteresting myself? Do I doubt the other persons love for me? Their physical attraction? Do I doubt that I can have the type of relationship I want?"
Make self-health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off. Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion. Have patience and practice!
As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you.
Emma Goldman once said, "All lovers do well to leave the doors of their love wide open. When love can go and come without fear of meeting a watch-dog, jealousy will rarely take root because it will soon learn that where there are no locks and keys, there is no place for suspicion and distrust, two elements upon which jealousy thrives and prospers."
Larry James
From: celebratelove.com↑
Jealousy has been defined as an emotion experienced by one who perceives that another person is giving something that she or he wants (typically attention, love, or affection) to a third party.
Jealousy is an emotion resulting from the resentfully suspicious nature of man. It is a universal emotional trauma caused by things as well as people. Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat - real or imagined - to a valued relationship or to its quality. Jealousy has a mind of its own and it is strong enough to make us believe and see things that are not even there or that have not happened yet.
Jealousy is a "complex reaction" because it involves such a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviors.
Believe it or not, like other difficult emotional experiences, jealousy can be a trigger for growth, increased self-awareness, and greater understanding of both your partner and your relationship.
While some couples seem to feed off of inciting a playful type of jealousy, many other relationships are laid to waste by uncontrollable and irrational fits of jealous rage.
In small, manageable doses, jealousy can be a positive force in a relationship. Jealousy heightens emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate. But when jealousy is intense or irrational, the story is very different.
Jealousy is almost always a demonstration of our own insecurities and low self-esteem. Unless an unfaithful partner has broken trust, about 90% of jealousy comes from from personal insecurity. When you are feeling unloved, be careful not to focus on your partner when the feelings are really inside you. Jealousy provides an opportunity to come to a fundamental understanding of yourself. You may be being driven by your fears.
Insecurities bring forth jealousy, which, in effect, is a cry for more love. It is within our rights to ask for more affection when self-doubts surface, however, the indirect way that jealousy asks for it is counterproductive. Excessive possessiveness is inappropriate. Jealousy is the surest way to drive away the very person we may fear losing.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to try and hide it. Jealousy is usually a signal of something needing fixing, and ignoring that usually only makes things worse.
To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:
Acknowledge your jealousy. Ask yourself where it is coming from and why it makes you feel jealous. I suggest asking yourself, "What do I feel insecure about? Do I feel unattractive or uninteresting myself? Do I doubt the other persons love for me? Their physical attraction? Do I doubt that I can have the type of relationship I want?"
Make self-health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off. Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion. Have patience and practice!
As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you.
Emma Goldman once said, "All lovers do well to leave the doors of their love wide open. When love can go and come without fear of meeting a watch-dog, jealousy will rarely take root because it will soon learn that where there are no locks and keys, there is no place for suspicion and distrust, two elements upon which jealousy thrives and prospers."
Larry James
From: celebratelove.com↑
Labels: Article
